The Advent calendar (Horror movie?)

For those of you that don't speak french it puts "Will you be the first person liking this movie? The Calendar" and then puts "Still waiting for such case" in small print

I had always refused to believe that french movies are going to be weird and slow just because they're French, but once again I find myself watching an eccentric movie, almost psychedelic from time to time, without head nor feet from the hands of France.

 The premise is that a paraplegic girl can cure her disability with a German advent calendar that somehow demands sacrifices, but to be honest the only sacrifice it demanded was that the protagonist kill her dog because the rest of those who die were lust-driven, stupid bastards.

 Or the old man that was practically vegetative.

 In general, I felt that the movie was poorly narrated, too low-budget (almost homemade), and lacked rhythm. 

Megaloot (Equip objects that make you mega powerful, the game)

 

 The game is a complete mess. The meta-progress that featured on the demo was removed, which subtracts motivation for replays, whatever little there was after noticing that with a little planning, minimum planning, really, you can insta-kill entire screens of enemies without even looking.

 The items themselves are rather bland, and only the design stands out. The set mechanics are made in a way that it's less about strategy and more about wearing the whole set and sitting back.

 There's not much more to add, really. Poor game through and through. 

The Father Of Constructs (Janitor kills the world boss litRPG)

Honestly It's difficult to make a review out of the fifth of the book we've actually read. Well, whatever here it goes. The book's calles "Father of constructs" but rather it should've called "Local Retard Wins the Lotery" instead.

 PR: An old man named Harley becomes a retard after a lifetime of rpglit SMOG equivalent, poverty and malnutrition, the locals seem to have some sort of moral code despite being all the brink of starvation in a dystopy-like landscape and take pity on Harley, keeping him around but not trusting him with the important stuff. Before we can even ask ourselves if many of the SMOG affected local street urchins became retards we're confronted with the usual Daredavil trope where Harley develops a superpower to compensate for his mental shortcomings, and just as he's nearing the end of his life due some lung disease this super-intuition points him towards the sealed "world boss", who's conveniently left at just 1 HP and has a cockroach shape, all to make it easy for Harvy to kill. Once he does so, which was no mistery since it was on the title, he earns 1,000,000 dollars, eh, experience points. Basically, he won the LitRPG lotery. I though that the useless, dimwitted Janitor earning such amount at the expense of the whole world would earn him enemies and that Harvy would be forced into hiding, but the opposite happened. People he didn't even know came for the explicit purpose of helping him become more powerful, and the boons don't even end there, as since he's the first person that take a class he can select a Legenday one right off the bat, paying for it with his fall-from-the-sky experience. That's as far as we got. To be honest it's difficult to be harsh with the one-dimesional characters and the less than consistent plot, the lack of drive, or even the so called "fortunete" events that keep falling on MCs lap, since the whole book seem to have been written by a elementary school teacher that wanted to teach her students about being sympathetic with the less-gifted in a Disney-fashioned fairytale. (tentative) 2.5/10

Feed the Deep (Your employers are worse than the lovecraftian thing(horror?))

 

PR: Your employers, a bunch of jackasses if you ask me, send you to the bottom of the sea on bare diving equip, expect you to pay for all the necessary upgrades, expect you to pay a block of gold for some flares (right, because they noticed it's the only thing you can use to defend yourself), they expect you to find a chunk of mystery meat also lost in the sea, all to "feed the deep" which by the way kills you, no way around it.

 No payment, no life insurance, strict release of Liability contract, all to avoid having to move back to land. Yes, because the whole problem started since the twats wanted to have a "floating city", why they want that given all the problems of transportation and sustainability the city would obviously have, no idea.

 Apparently this pissed off "the deep" since the idiots were encroaching in his territory or something, plus they fucked up some scientific experiment or something, you know the usual kaiju movie tropes. 

Surprisingly enough "the deep" is pretty chill, he doesn't eat you or anything if you pass by nor does it make any clear attempts at killing or hindering you, it's mostly involuntary stuff it seems.

 By the last episode "the hardest" (yeah right) I exploited the randomizing beam mechanic and used the deep to randomize my loot and the market's prices, literally turning the "horror" game into a stock market simulator. AKA. "the deep market". Finally I could afford flares for a decent price!

Plot aside, the game is walking that fine line between relaxing and mind numbing not much unlike what you'd expect from the developer of Jetpack Joyride as he advertises himself in the game trailer. I'd say the gameplay is pretty average, and that the dev didn't have clear in his mind whether the protagonist is a fighter or a hider.

 Then, we get monsters that are too sluggish for an entertaining combat approach and too fast for a hider approach (at least the spider type is undodgeable). Also, getting "lost" is not a common occurrence, it's pretty rare for that to happen and there are a lot of safeguards against it like o2 packs, guide cables and even teleporters.

 So, the gameplay is the typical flash game upgrade grindy progression, with the problem that it resets everytime, leading to a feeling of pointlessness, super easy difficulty unless you try to rush things which is not my style, relatively good if a bit simple graphics (also flash-game worthy) all wrapped up in bad, bad, lazy plot.

Peglin (Pachinko-based roguelite game)

 The Peggle-like mechanics were seamlessly applied to combat, making the pachinko minigame feel a lot more intractable, and adding a lot of room for items and relics to come into play.

 The idea of peglin is good and for the first few gameplays it works perfectly, but later two things happen:   -The game is too short. By the time your playstyle starts consolidating the third and final boss is lying dead at your feet. 

-The relic synergies synergy too well and completely break the balance of the game. By the third stage you know if you'll win because you don't have to strategize anymore, you just shoot your pebble onto the board and wait for everyone to die.

 So in summary: Great game, but lacks content for extended gameplays and requires more thoughts on the balancing. 

Play Dead (Sneaking in a mortuary as a corpse to steal evidence)

Plot reminder: a household that fell in debt due to student loans get forced into crime and the brother carries a poorly planned assault, which ends up badly leaving evidence that the sister has the great idea of destroying by infiltrating the morgue pretending to be a cadaver, which was another terrible idea since the place had cameras. Luckily for them, the forense/mortician turns out to be an organ trafficker that literally rips the organs out of dead bodies and shoves them into an ice box, ready for delivery. Very realistic, you see. Throughout the movie, we'll wonder how the guy managed to get ahold of a medical license. The sister manages to vanquish the evil doctor, and they all live happily ever after.

Pretty decent for a low-budget horror movie, but the Cobra quote and the gaping plot holes, on top of that the idea wasn't particularly innovative to begin with, prevent me from giving a high score. In fact, pretty decent just make it a little above bad and leave it on the grey terrain of mediocre 

Movie script? literally this meme

Starcom: Unknown Space (Making sci-fi exploration a slug)

You COULD build your own type of ships, you know, if everything wasn't so damn expensive.

 Ever thought that exploration games were too dynamic? Ever thought, "Hey, real explorers need to drift for hours before finding something remotely interesting!"? Well, Starcom: Unknown Space is the game for you.

If the thrill of aimlessly wandering around scanning random planets in same-looking star systems, collecting resources that you don't even know what they're for (but for some reason are never enough) wasn't enough, Starcom also introduces a novel mechanic of intergalactic battleship combat: Spam the enemy while staying outside their range. There are over five different, completely unique weapons that you don't need and probably can't afford either.

UNCOVER THE TRUTH: Piece together the past of "the fallen empire" and the plots of the evil alien church that wants to keep people in ignorance from little cutout two-line clues in the modern "text block" format! (Any resemblance to other fallen empires and evil churches is completely coincidental.)

"After grinding for only 30 hours, I was able to build a half-decent ship! Totally worth it." - Anonymous Reviewer 

Inkbound (Have you looked at the screenshots? what you expected??)

Ugly purple bird about to fight some static, inexpressive adventurers, one of which is carrying two shields like a tard, other is still with his weapon on his back, and the other who is carrying... a hank of rope?

   You boot up the game and you get slams you with a text block and then paragraph long chats after paragraph long chats and if that bullshit wasn't enough there's this lore book you're supposed to read too. 

Now, I don't know to whom this may concern, but if you're making a videogame, you know, interactive fiction, then you don't slam text walls to the player that literally just boot up the game because I, and honestly, anyone that has a little self-esteem, is not interested in the lore dump of some game they don't even know if it's any good.

 Which it isn't by the way, I have this theory that they put these so that even if you skip them between that and testing the game a little the two hour refund time lapses and you're stuck with it.

 Like you can probably surmise out what I just wrote, I skimmed a lot through the story. For what I can tell is a bunch of pretencious pseudo creation myth bullcrap that that's barely worth the effort of skipping it and I think they should add a patch to auto-skip all non-relevant text. Just now, I tried to google "Inkbound plot" and couldn't even read the one page long sinopsis that some no-life redditor made (not that I'm better, ha ha). It did confirmed my suspicions that the plot is crap, though. 

 Now, you're thinking "Yes, you have to get through a text block, but the gameplay must be fire to be worth all this trouble" and the answer to that expression of desire is that the gameplay is about as good as the graphics of the game.

 Meaning it feels like a placeholder or a proof of concept for the game that apparently isn't out yet and you payed, how much... Thirty dollars!? Wow, these people are completly mental, imagine paying thirty dollars for this crap, and they wonder why piracy is so popular... Well, you pay thirty dollars for a placeholder model. I suppose you had it coming if you pay a cent after looking at the screenshots and saying "Yes, this playdough-looking faceless thing with gear that looks stripped out some ad-filled android game (one of those that have some angry dude's face for an icon) must be worth all this money"

This is the game developers trying to advertise their game. This is the screenshot they made to sell it, you understand the implicances?

 Anyways... To point out the most obvious problem of the game, other than the outright repetition of the same fights, against the same mobs, on the same places over and over again, then getting send back yet another time because a mission that, by the way, has no reward whatsoever requieres you to...

 Sigh, it's that each run has three phases, but your skill selection on the literal first fifteen minutes will define the next two hours. You got this healing power because you thought that you could swap it later, and this other cool looking teleport thing? Sucks to be you, now you have no DPS and the long fights become even longer, ultimatly getting you killed due scaling.

 This example does not portraits the events that happened during my first run, in case you're wondering. Purely coincidental, huh, example. Recollected from other less professional player's experiences. 

 Once you made your skill choice, you're locked and can't swap them even if you get this mod that would be great with that skill you know exists but you didn't pick. Same happens with the mods, same happens with everything.

 Money or "golden kwills" as the game calls it, are next to useless unless you have this relic that turns x Kwills to damage %, speaking of which it's funny that most "legendary" relics are way, way worse than the common ones.

 It's almost as if they made the relics from legendary to lower grades while the game hadn't been completed yet. If it's completed now, that is. Basically, game sucks, don't play it, don't waste your time. 

No Game No Life ("super smart" bunch gets teleported into game world by psycho god that plays good guy)

Not even five minutes and already a pantishot? Wow. 

  PR: After having another game streak, full nighter whatever in which the Kohaku brothers defeat a huge amount of other pro-players who were using cheats with their magical powers that are never explained, they recieve a SPAM-like mail offering them an invitation to another world if they beat a chess game. Honestly I wouldn't had downloaded an .exe file from such doubius source, but then again I don't get an anime.

For those who don't know it puts "Unknown: Hello. Wanna play a game?" 

Turns out it wasn't a scam, and it was actually Tet, the god of games, behind the table playing chess against the bros. They manage to beat him thanks to the Kohaku sister brute forcing the game by insta-visualizing all 10,123 possible moves simultaneusly at all times, you know your average "super smart" anime protagonist. If I had the processing capacity of a supercomputer and the coordination and respose time of a Delta Force soldier I wouldn't be spending all my day on some shitty apartment complaining about life I tell you that.

 Well anyways, the so-called god of games that got defeated by some puny mortal girl, computer processing power or not, decides to teleport them into the world he reigns upon out of pure vanity to force a rematch. The world is more or less what you'd imagine of a dude that forbids war but allows life to be traded as a commodity in bets, while also allowing cheating as long as it's not detected effectively enabling the magic-casting races to legally enslave the less fortunate ones: utterly injust.

Really, seeing this self-rightous good-for-nothing God makes me breath out in relief we have no Gods here on Earth, what if they were like that? I shudder at the thought.

 Anyways, the "plot" progresses with the brothers bulldozing through every game with their innate cheat abilities against opponents that also cheat in what can be summarized as a contest of whose cheats are better, in which the bros win every time since I quote "The kohaku know no defeat".

 So they play rock paper scissors, they cheat and win, they play emotional "chess" and again cheat by "rallying" the troops using their "superior knowledge on war tactics" which in practical terms is just the guy shouting "Let's go plunder and rape, you bastards! For justice!", and then the guy pulling a 180° when he's about to lose and appealing to the morale of the enemy queen with his "dating sim knowledge"... The morale of the dude that was literally yelling that he came to plunder and rape two seconds ago, convincing.

 Anyways, they later on play blackjack while again, cheating (card counting), and then they play "guess-who-passes" on a street while AGAIN cheating pulling some statistics crap, then they play chained-words game and... well, honestly the episode was rather confusing, but I think that foreseeing the very last play can be considered cheating. Plot-armored characters through-and-through, those two.

 They also give a very "motivating" speech about how "Imanity" is the worst race, and now that the other better races have grasped sapience we're in an even more precarious situation than before, that we're shit-tier weak, but not to worry because we're going to defeat everyone with our weakness. Then he procceds to declare war upon the whole world.

 To explain that madness he pulls a  "Now that I've declared war upon all nations, none will attack us out of precaution since they don't know who's backing us up". No, dude. Declaring war upon the world is how you get preentive strikes! In reality, nations would start banding together and attack you just to prove they're NOT backing you. Guess is what you get when all the political decisions you make are stolen article bits from Wikipedia. Age of Empires academia, people.

 Anyway, I didn't finished the season, but's easy to guess that the rest of the plot is the brothers cheating in made-up games that aren't even fun and having that obnoxious know-it-all attitude.     

Narratively, the anime is atrocious. The premise itself was pretty basic, obviously trying to appeal to a gamer audience but forgetting that for ANY plot to work one needs proper character drive and real problems. The Kohaku lack any drive, they act by innertia, and it's pretty much garanteed that they'll win by pulling some half-baked stunt, so why bother?

 Visually it's a bit better, the animations themselves are the forte of No Game No Life but the studio jacked brightness and color saturation to the maximum which may look good in a single picture but not episode after episode. Also, the ecchi scenes (of which there's a lot) are forced upon the plot and makes it impossible to take a single minute of the season seriously.

 In summary: While passable thanks to good visuals, all the characters are sexualized 2D puppets with barely one cartoonish personality aspect, the Kohaku pretend to be smart but are absolute idiots, impossible to emphatize with and the "battle against God" which would be the ending is already spoiled by the first scene, in which they battle God and win. 2.5/10

BLASTRONAUT (mining in another world)

                              

 You play as an astronaut who does errand jobs for companies in exchange for "reputation" which is useless, so you basically work for free.

 Decent for a first playthrough but with three biomes and two types of mining equipment, out of which one is terribly annoying, there isn't much replayability value. Worth noting that as it stands enemies are the least of your concerns, nine out of ten times I got injured was because my stupid weapon backfired. 

Dungeon warfare (build traps in dungeon simulator)

Good uptake on the less than fortunate tower defense subgenre, but still feels too puzzly to me rather than allowing actual dungeon trapping creativity. Some levels clearly point you into picking specific types of traps rather than allowing you to decide how you prefer things. Also, zero modification of the actual layout of the dungeon

Perfect Love (Yandere visual novel, by C4games)

PR: MC of choosable genre but that was obviously meant to be a girl starts by narrating how she wants a obsessive love that consume and encompasses all, but sooner than later after changing BF at least three times she realizes that these don't exactly grow in trees, so she comes up with a perfect plan: manipulate/create someone tailor-made to become an obsessive lover. Idea which I had contemplated on several occasions, so I'm officially promoted to "VN villain", yey. Should I get a violin? 

 Luckily for us the readers, her plan is much more simpler than mine and can be put to action almost right away. Though, from one bad guy to the other, the plan is flimsy at best, she hasn't prepared for contingencies and the results are very luck-dependant, it goes as follows; she screen the vic, Milo, a malleable, docile, weird freshman with little ties to his family and lots of self-esteem problems and set him up with bullies and stuff like that to swoop in and save the day. Kinda like when your GTA GF needed a refreshment on how cool you were, so you set her house on fire to later come in and "save her".

 Through the rest of the game you make a few choices (about three per route) that aren't really clear as to what effect they might have but that's about shaping Milo's Yandere personality to be more aggressive, possessive or manipulative. E.g. Some "recipes" goes as follow; aggro + cunning + aggro = cannibal, manipulative + obsessive + aggro = human "doll" maker, stuff like that.

  The story was meant to play all routes as some have fragments of story that are completed in others, such as Ryan being an ex boyfriend, or him being involved into a drug overdose incident after trying to pull a breaking bad at the school lab, though most data is incomplete. Like who the hell this "Desmond"  guy is, what MC got on 'em, what's her relation with her other friends, what's gone wrong with the other experiments, etc. 

 Narratively speaking "perfect love" is lacking, which is to be expected since one hour is a little short to develop a credible obsessive love story, practically it develops as a thriller between MC, Milo and Ryan, with Ryan having a very variable role sometimes being a full-blown bully, some being a whimsy pipsqueak, some being a blackmailed involuntary participant.

 The hand-drawn art is a good break from the smoothed-over anime-style VN characters but the doodle-like slide-show can get confusing and it's difficult to distinguish one figure from the other. I'd say "perfect love" most praiseworthy aspect is different Yandere types, though somewhat roughly depicted, still clearly different from each other which arouses the readers curiosity as to what the other "perfect loves" are like.

 Honestly giving a score to this particular VN is a bit troublesome because it's awfully niche, like if you don't dig yanderes too much, or hand drawing isn't your thing the score is much lower. If I had to recommend to someone else, a four would probably be more close to the "objective" assessment PD: Evil Milo's attire is utterly baffling, it's like MJ "I'm bad" but worse. Guy's wearing a dog's collar for cryin' out loud

What the bandages for??

Menherafflesia, flowering abyss (Some people's "she belong to a mental ward" is another's "she's perfect" visual novel)

 Two things, one I'm reading this in japanse so everything is going to take me longer, thus instead of a all-encompasing PR I'm going to make episodic PRs for each route, second the plot is an absolute mess so I'm doing my best to colect the shambles but there's only so much I can do. (edit 12/24 The plot was so bad that I drop the thing so... Yeah, just one arc covered)

Intro PR: We start in a poisonous flower field with some little girl singing Louis Armstrong's "what a beautiful world" (basically) for absolutely no reason. Why the protagonist in a poisonous flower field instead of a normal flower field, no idea. Why is there even a poisonous flower field in the middle of the city to begin with, no idea. I suspect the funeral home had some hand in the matter. 

Edit. It wasn't poisonous, I just assumed it was due this synopsis

 Before we can ask ourselves more questions that would've remained unanswered anyways, we teleport or time travel or don't know if it's even the same person that was on the field to some dude edgying about how life is unfair, he goes on and on with phrases like "No one is waiting for me at home, I'm so alone, so broke boo-hoo" etc, which for a minute I thought could explain why the guy was in the poison field before I'm faced with the first "choice".

The guy suddenly stops his whining and says "there's a flower on  the street, what's the name of that flower?". I'm like, "How tf should I know? You're the one in front of the fuckin' flower aren't you? Why does it even matters???" Now, I'm calling it a choice but honestly is just close your eyes and point between five options (that I discussed for a full day with my friend doing all sorts of connections between flower characteristics and possible personality traits) only to find out that it's just a name. Like, you choose "dandilon" and the girl is called dandilon, or you choose "jazmine" bam you get a girl named jazmine. Ockham's razor, eh? 

15/8/24 Moeko "Moemuri Kurara" Ivy:

So after lots of thought I went for Ivy because it's the only one "flower" which is NOT a flower and later my decision was further consolidated by remembering thicc Poison Ivy (batman).

 Again we get time traveled/teleported into a dude that we aren't really sure if it's the same whiny dude or the poison-flower-field dude and he's at work thinking about how proud he is of being a cringe-worthy fat-n-fugly wanker type otaku instead of actually working. He really outdoes himself thinking how "high" his standars are, that he would only accept "end of the century beauties" and that he doesn't "waste his precious time" on three dimesional persons since he rathers watch another anime.

 A sexy-secretary type coworker asks him out since she likes him for some not explained, plot convenient reason and the second "choice" appears:

 1. Go away, fugly
 2. I'm busy don't speak to me.

 I had to read twice to actually believe it but yes it's a not-choice choice. Like why is it even there? There are a lot of those later on the "game" where you choose the least cringy one, knowing that it doesn't really matters but what the hell a man can try.

 The girl starts crying but the dude doesn't give a flying fuck, he goes back to "working". When he leaves for the day and starts pondering on what's on the "otaku's menu" (what trash food he's eating next) he drops his jaw at the sight of the same girl that he called fugly few hours ago. Like, literally the same but without the glasses and with some silly ribbons.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane???

The guy was saying all sorts of face-palm worthy phrases like, "you're an aaangeel!" "Marry me! I love you!". For a moment I was like "outstanding move" for Moeko to cosplay and seize the fat fuck's heart, "this is what's called a pro gamer move". But then I started noticing  something weird. The dude asks her for her name as if he didn't knew her and she makes up something on the fly. The dude actually can't tell who she is! Talking about mistaking clark kent for superman. I check the log and see that her dialoges are marked as "???: bla bla bla" as if we didn't know who she was. Heh, the suspense is killing me!

 Anyways. The scenes pass by and we get a lot of the dude's creepiness that really makes us wonder if maybe he's the mentally insane/challenged one, like smelling his hand because it's the one that "touched hers" and praising the sweet smell (could it be the soap?) or the guy actually stalking her, or the guy thinking of her "holy, pure chastity" or the dude worshiping her "heavenly abode" (just a regular house with like, one anime poster she probably dug out the trash).

 In one occasion, girl ruins the food she was supposed to prepare for dinner, burns it to a crisp almost setting the house on fire, and the dude actually eats that garbage "to make her feel better", and goes about how "tasty" it is. Dude. Just phone for a pizza. It's not like it's the end of the world if you don't eat the food she ruined.

 After about a year of the dude otaku talking the girl to death, dragging her to akihabara, making her watch shitty niche animes that are utter garbage (tentative assumptions) the dude tries to shack her, but in a moment of (whatevers' left) self-dignity the girl stops him and says "before, there's something I need to tell you" and goes into her room to change clothes.

 After a full year it seems the idiocy started rubbing off to her and she's been having problems with her sense of self, laying on her bed thinking "am I two persons or only one? Who am I?" (imagine if all cosplayers had troble telling apart their personality from the characters they're playing) and need reasurence, so she comes out as "moeko" (regular clothes and glasses) and looking at the guy says with a straight face "this is my true form" like some supervillan. And the dude goes "MOEKO???? What are you doing here!" (facepalm) and she reply "I'm sorry I lied, but I need to know if you can love me knowing I'm (also) Moeko", which enables the first (true?) choice in the game so far, the most under-the-nose "yes I do" and "no I don't".

 The Yes, I do "happy ending" is most risible thing I've ever seen, she goes back into the room and comes with the Moe-Muri cosplay saying "you know, I'm actually a magic girl and have been tasked with saving the world from an ancient evil. I need to dress like this to cast my magic" (is she serious? Nah, she can't be. Right?) and the dude goes "I will help you save the world! Together!" (Insert interrogation signs negro meme) "Thanks Itarou! I love you! Now take my hand, we need to jump off the window!" (suspicion (((increse)))). Then, epiloge. We're at the (poisonous?) flower field, the girl thanks Itarou-dude for helping her, some sentimentaloid crap and the "camara" turns to show the guy is a skeleton.

Literally my face during the whole scene

 Ok, so I got a lot of questions: One, I know the dude's an idiot, but he really jump off a building cause the girl told him to? Where they not on a first floor? Why is the guy dead? If the fall was deadly, shouldn't have the girl died too? And if not, why the guy died? If the guy died and she didn't why is she perfectly not-injured and the dude's a fucking skeleton? What? She dragged his corpse through half town unto the flower field on broad daylight?? Why a skeleton? did she let him rot for few months before the scene?? Well. Terrible.

 The "No, I don't" is more in line with the plot so it's less, how to say it... that. The girl pulls a love-love diary and slaps the guy in the face with all the cringe phrases he said to her about marriage, everlasting love, red-string fated couple and whatnots and like "what? I change my clothes and you no longer like me?" which is all pretty reasonable but the guy goes haywire and "sends her flying".

 She hits her head on the counter, badly, and the dude runs off. Like, not even checking if she's fine or calling an ambulance, an absolute ass. Then he goes to sleep while mumbling about how the vixen tricked him (everyone like: you're not a clown, you're the entire circus).

well earned

Dark screen, heavy breathing, Halloween-like music theme and the "corpse" of the girl "dissapears", ploooot twiiist! She breaks into his house punching her way through the freggin' wall while saying a bunch of  shit I didn't understood about being together forever and choke-slams him into summision, drags him yelling and kicking out the building, no one does shit, then she puts a noose around his neck, hangs him to death and kills herself immidiatly afterwards. The cops arrive next morning, looked at the wrecked room, the torn-in-pieces door and follow the trail of blood unto the dangling corpses on the front of the building concluding "Welp, no signs of faul play here. Must have been suicide". Another coworker says "What a dark couple, they deseved each other" (too soon, someone???)