PR: The italian government is so paranoid about some alleged war in fictional world of Brick, and I'm saying fictional world because a lot of things don't add up when you apply the real world logic, that they've used some private security contractor that's actually this one techy dude who has harnessed the power of nano machines, the ultimate sci-fi resource to explain stuff you can't.
As to how much did the government spent in covering the entire city, or at least an entire district of the city, with indestructible nano machines... I think it's even more concerning that all this has been done without public knowledge and obviously no authorization from the people living in said district. Which also means that no one knows what the hell the man is doing with their taxpayer euros.
Anywho, some game dev or something of the sort is breaking up overnight with his fianceé or wife, and after crossing some heated words she tries to leave the apartment only to find that the door had been sealed by the nano machine wall, nano machines that assemble like bricks, hence the name of the movie.
As you would have it, the entire system malfunctioned because of a fire in a building couple blocks away, which, since the building did collapse due the fire and the reaction of the nano-wall came a lot later means that in the scenario of a bombardment the wall wouldn't go up in time and that the entire thing is a detrimental waste of money.
The characters proceed to stab the wall, drill the wall, and strike it with a number of objects including their fists. A bit later, the wall is revealed to be magnetic for whatever reason, so the protagonists proceed to dump a bunch of cutlery, including of course knives and forks, which gets propelled when the magnetic field reverses (another unexplained phenomena) and the sharpener hits the game dev dude on the back. Don't worry, he's fine. If you find yourself wondering why, if the wall has such strong magnetic pull, can they use a metal drill and a metal sledgehammer like normal against it, you're not the only one.
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| You see, that's where we would put coherency... if we had any. |
Having found that one second after the wall came up the entire pipe system of building went dry, before trying to turn on a tv or a radio since they do have electricity, you know, to find out what happened, they decide to throw down the adjacent wall to their junkie neighbors.
If you're doubting the good judgement of breaking down the only thing separating you from two highly altered cocaine users that will soon be on withdraw, don't worry, these particular junkies are basically teddy bears. Bit stupid, but pretty much everyone in the movie is, so.
Together they come to the decision that they will use some kind of underground tunnel from the WWII, and the fact that at no point have they considered the possibility that the wall had closed off the tunnel, just like it closed off the doors connecting to the hallway, indicates that they haven't watch "the dome", the thing that this movie aspires to be.
They then sledgehammer the floor, meet a twitchy old dude on oxygen and his lesbian granddaughter, note the old man has a handgun. But he's cool, he didn't accidently blow off anyone's head. Unfortunately.
They continue down and meet the only character worth mentioning in the entire film, Yuri, who serves as the antagonist of the story being the only dude that doesn't want the wall to go down, in case a war actually broke and the city had been nuked. On his defense, has they waited, if there was a war then the government wouldn't do anything in which case not lifting the wall would be a good decision, and if they do come to clean the mess they've done, then, what's the point in hurrying so much? The most solid argument in the entire plot.
Unfortunately he has to kill techy dude to prevent him from opening the wall, and also the owner of the building, for some unexplained reason. Actually, we don't know it was him that killed the owner of the building, we just assume so.
They continue to the tunnel, which is unsurprisingly closed, this triggers junkie dude who yoinks old man's pistol, fires a succession of shots which ricochet back to them due magnetic field, killing old man. Lesbian pretends to cry, but can't and the little left she has to live in the movie she also shows no emotion whatsoever except perhaps mild annoyance. Not much worse than the rest of the cast, really.
They go back up, do a little Hardy Boyz and uncover that "Huh, yup, the guy with strangulation marks on his neck was strangulated by the one other dude in the room" but not before lesbian dies. Then, they wallop Yuri in the nutter, then proceed to torture him a bit but he doesn't reveal anything. They throw some "Eureka" moment that ngl kinda sus and wifey says "the bricks are sorted like a QR code (?) let's check on dead guy's phone, the one broken beyond repair!" And game dev dude suddenly pops CIA forensic level of phone repair skills, almost saving the day except that he doesn't know the four tap pattern combination that opens the wall. Techy guy managed to somehow make the system both extremely easy to vulnerate and very unpractical for the people relying on it to use, probably inspired by restaurants with QR menus.
In a failed attempt they fail to recognize as such, the wall goes semi solid, and gal-junkie jams her arm into the thing instead of using a stick. The wall then begins to suck her in, which scares the group and they try to pull her back in as the wall comes solid once again, resulting in her getting halved. I would've released her when it became obvious that the group couldn't contest in terms of strength with the nano machines. They respond to physical trauma, after all.
Yuri starts laughing, which is understandable the scooby gang is form by incompetents and idiots, but that gets him shot thrice by the junkie, who then offs himself. Don't worry, he's fine. Yuri, I mean. Wifey and Dev dude then finally crack the secret four dot pattern and they proceed to escape, but not before Yuri undo himself off the hastly made shackles and kicks them around like he was in full form rather than having been repeatedly hit in the head and then shot thrice, but ultimately get sledgehammered from behind. Maybe the sledgehammer is the real protagonist, just putting the thought out there.
They exit the building and instead of going back and using the phone to release their neighbors and recover their possesions, or doing anything remotely sensical, they steal a hippie van and set off to Paris, just because.
I won't suggar coat it, this movie is terrible. It's only midly entertaining because of how hilariously non-sensical the whole thing is, but between the actors performance being from subpar to non-existent
(Except Yuri) the direction of the plot bring sparse and overall not making sense, whatever little fun it had gets overriden
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