PR: Apparently, the world was once filled with magic that gather on specific points. Humans, in order to become independant of said points harnessed the magic in artifacts of various powers and mostly dubious use, like the sword that inflicts unhealable wounds or a metal apple that makes you even nastier than usual, and some that are so overpowered you know they'll never be used on the series, like the crown that lets you control magic or the Holy Grail that makes you immortal or something.
When magic begin to be used in warfare, because duh everything is used on warfare, ask oppenheimer, a bunch of obscurantists known as "the librarians" decide that magic "can't fall in the wrong hands" which means only one person or two in the entire world, them, should hold all of the magic and magical artifacts. If you ask me, they're the bad guys, but let's move on.
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| When I saw this ugly CGI octupus book on the trailer, I was like "I gotta watch this" |
The series begin with the protagonist, some over-acted clown that yells all the time while pretending to be smart, enters a anti-terrorist raid mid shooting to crack this ark of covenant looking coffer left by the nazis. You know, so that the audience notices the similarity with Indiana Jones, case they missed the other five references. Minute six by the way. The co-protagonist, this wooden-stiff police woman that somehow, despite barely moving at all, manages to be exaggerated on every gesture, begins a... huh, "colorful banter" while disaming an alleged nuclear bomb the ragtag terrorists popped out the blue.
Afterwards, she is dismissed for an entire month from the taskforce for plot convenient reasons, and she is invited to "the library" which leads to another number of bad jokes.
The group of bad guys, aptly named "the Serpent brotherhood" because they couldn't think of anything worse than serpents that hadn't been taken, appear on the scene, set on their demonic task of returning magic to the world.
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| "What do snakes have to do with restoring magic to the world, though? Why snakes?" -Brotherhood mob |
The idiot protagonist and barbie doll proceed to gather other annoying characters, all "selected candidates for librarian" but that never showed up. Good they did as apparently the Brotherhood got ahold of the ledger and killed every other librarian candidate. The more these dudes do the more I think they're the good ones, really.
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| If these librarian candidates so good, howcome they dead? |
The surviving ones are: "can hack the pentagon" asian teen that can't stop saying how good he's at stealing stuff (first scene he tries he fails, though), highly educated cowboy that show us how good taste can't be adquired though collage, and super computer asperger "synestethic" girl. For short, we'll refer to them as China, Cowboy and Computer.
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| "I have ten PhDs and five masters, I swear! What I do for a living? I fill up holes, why?" |
I'd like to make a short stop to say that Cowboy is the only half decent actor in the good guy team, with the other two being the black woman on the Brotherhood and the old man in the mirror. Computer and the protagonist are particularly bad, the joke of Computer just saying random number for a minute straight gets old fast.
Well, after assambling the team, they recover the crown of arthur which was literally on this suspicious formation in the middle of the black forest (germany) inside one of the rocks. If you're wondering why is the crown on a rock in germany when Arthur was English and according to the series, also roman (?), no idea. They manage to escape the brotherhood thanks to China blowing up their helicopter (he was supposed to steal it)
When they reach the library, the baddies are hot on their heels, bypassing the measly security system they had... somehow, and they proceed to steal the crown. The episode ends with the protagonist wounded and Computer being revealed to be a traitor (they're snakes, get it?)
I somehow predict that the scriptwriters will conveniently forget that excalibur's wounds "never heal".
Honestly if you need more than that thing they call a plot to realize this is nothing but a cheap, poorly acted show that's meant for retard kids... Maybe you deserve to watch it. There's a revival spinoff too, you should watch it as well.
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